A list of people who should not attend rock shows at all

In no particular order, as all these people suck in one way or another and can spoil the joy of live concerts completely.

The "movies or it didn't happen"-girl. Taking pictures of the band is soooo 2006. With the newest cell phone or a Sony smartcam you are able to record the whole show and have it up on Vimeo in no time. But what about drinking beer, rasing your horns or dancing? All this will only lead to a blurry recording, so please, stand as firm as possible and keep shooting angry gazes at those concert goers who dare to come in physical contact with you.

The guy from work who's colleagues told him that the band is cool. Probably you will be still wearing suit and tie from work. And most probably you'll wish to be at a Tina Turner concert as soon as the band fires the first riff. But the funky young brunette from accounting has invited you, and so you'll pretend to like the band and stand around being the complete foreign body that you are. At least you can show off at the coffee dock tomorrow - but only if the band finishes at 10 and you can get the last bus.

The uber-aloof scene guy. Yes, you have been here before. About a million times. You wear the right clothing. You have 8 layers of tattoos all over your body, including the eyebrows. And not one sucking newcomer band in this world will be able to make you move an inch to their sound. An approving headnod is reserved for Iron Maiden and demi-gods. The drawback of this is that you will also not move an inch even in the first row of the show. Positioned strategically, 10 of your type in a crowd of 300 can ruin a complete show for band and audience.

The bruiser from the suburbs. You know exactly one song of the band. But that one is nicely energetic and aggressive. So you saved the price of the ticket from your job as a construction worker and are here with some of your homies. And approximately after the 2nd song will you take off you shirt and start pushing the people in front of you around. Even at a Sigur Ros show. Besides the primate-like behaviour and the annoyance it causes for the people around you, flying drops of sweat from your hairy back can actually spoil all beers within a radius of 200 meters.